I find that I ultra protective of my closed ones. Haha. =p Even if I do seem nonchalant at times, bully them, treat them like dirt at times, when it comes to the crux, I will be a totally different person. I'll be at my meanest and I'll not budge an inch.
I just hate to see others bullying my loved ones. Whether close friends, colleagues, family, even if I do behave like shit towards them sometimes (I swear I not with ill intentions kind lor. =() I still don't allow others to treat them like shit. I'll so bulldoze over them.
Poor deardear kena bullied at work. I find that intolerable. I'm not going to let him take that lying down. So help me God, I'll make sure his company will not have peace. Nope, I'm not going to burn his company down. Tempting I'm sure, but I'll do it in my own way, at what I do best.
And poor Bui so upset at work the other day when I was on MC. *HUGS* I feel bad enough when I make her cry sometimes. Now someone makes her cry, I am not very happy about it. I will not be nasty, but I will not be nice either. When I'm nice, I'm very nice. When I'm not, I'm the bitch from hell.
I wonder why I am like that though. Always so protective. Haha. I still remembered I beat this kid up when he bullied my little brother who was still so small and such a weakling. =p Stole his pencilbox and made him cry during Sunday School. Poor bro came crying to me after his class and yeah, I beat the boy up. =x Not that bad lah. At least no broken bones or what. =p
Anyhow, mess with me, I may keep quiet and ignore. Mess with my loved ones, there'll be hell to pay. And I will resort to fist fighting when need be. That's how I am. Violent. *sniggers* You won't know what hit you.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Quizzes...
| Your Personality Profile |
 You are pure, moral, and adaptable. You tend to blend into your surroundings. Shy on the outside, you're outspoken to your friends. You believe that you live a virtuous life... And you tend to judge others with a harsh eye. As a result, people tend to crave your approval. |
What Kind of Guy Will You Fall For? | |
 | You would fall for the geek. If you're looking for love, consider spending a little more time studying up in the library. To you, there's nothing more attractive than intelligence, shyness, and kindness; your future love may have four eyes and zero social skills, but he'll make up for it in brains and heart. |
| Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com | |
Which Winnie the Pooh Character Are You? | |
 | You are Piglet. You are timid, quiet, and like to stay in others' shadows. Though your shyness can irritate some, you are courageous when it counts and are always loyal to your friends. |
| Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com | |
From Facebook:
Temperament = Flexible
Nothing seems to bother you - you sail through life crisis free. It's not that your life doesn't have its ups and downs, it's just that you handle everything without unnecessary drama and antics. You approach each day fresh, not worrying about yesterday or tomorrow. You are confident that you can handle anything that comes your way and experience has shown that you are absolutely right about this.
Interests = Simple
You are continually pursuing a simpler and less complicated life - you don't allow yourself to fall victim to all of the "should do's" that society continually bombards you with. You are thoughtful about your life choices and think in terms of yourself, others and the world in which we live. You have a great sense that we are part of something much bigger and we must be good to others, if we want others and the world to be good to us.
Amusement = Adventurous
It's a good thing that you are filled with energy and ambitions (that others sometimes find exhausting) because you're continually looking for a new adventure and exciting experience. You struggle with a continual feeling of restlessness which constantly pushes you to the next level of excitement. Once you have accomplished one thing, you are eager to accomplish something more exciting, riskier and distinguishable.
Passion = Physical
You are a cuddle bug - from a warm hug shared with your best friend to steamy sex with your partner, you enjoy every bit of human contact that you can get. You demonstrate your love for others most fluidly through physical one-on-one contact and you feel the most loved when you are being touched. You feel disconnected when you are physically isolated from others. You're a people person and a lover of all things human.
That's about it I think... =p Sorry for the lack of updates. Office can't blog, and due to a fall-out with mum 2 weeks ago or thereabouts, my access to internet is quite limited, so no updates lor. Anyway am back home, so yah.
Time flies honestly. -_- Soon it'll be Christmas! OMG... I feel so ancient lor... *faints* And it's a second Christmas with him. =p Hehehe... I'm just amazed we've come this far. Since I have really quite short attention span and my previous longest relationship was like 9 months? Hahaha... And before that it was like, 3 months? Not bad lah, until now still so into him... Everyday machiam still honeymoon stage. =x At least everytime he smses my heart will still skip a beat. Or I'll have a silly grin on my face. Not like with JQ, after 6 months already sian half liao. Haha. =p
I'm so lemming for a PSP Slim leh! And pretty handmade necklaces! =p Sigh. But think my PSP will have to wait till January lah. Or maybe never. -_- What to do? I can't anyhow spend like before lor. Not that I'm complaining lah. =p Good lah, at least got aim, direction in life mah. Hahaha...
Hmmm, nothing much liao lah. Nothing else to update. So far so good also lah, not much quarrels with him recently. =p Nothing else interesting in my life liao anyway, since my life revolves around him. Hahaha... Yup, he's the only man in my life! Ok, aside my dad and bro lah. But otherwise I only have eyes for him. Bleah.
Speaking of time flies, soon it'll be 2008. Hmmm, have to start making New Year resolutions... But not as if I'll follow also. =x Whatever it is, I just hope for a smooth year, and hopefully we can get a flat so can move in together! Think when that time comes, I'll be even harder to get, because will be too broke and nua to come out and play liao. =x But I wonder what will happen when we move in together. Lol. =p
Ok, gotta log off liao. =)
Friday, November 9, 2007
Stupid Inconsiderate Bitch...
Just got home like one hour ago. Until now I haven't bathed, all because of a stupid girl with no manners.
F**k lor. She blardy hell vomitted in the toilet bowl, didn't flush properly, didn't clean up the residue left on the toilet seat and the area between the seat and cover. WTF~! Do you know how f**king gross it is?! And how blardy stinky it is?! HOW THE F**K AM I SUPPOSED TO SHOWER?! And worse still, my laptop is just in front of the toilet lah! How am I supposed to surf my net in comfort?!
End up I have to close the door and spray my perfume outside. -_- And I can't f**king shower, because the back toilet is so cramped itself, and now with the washing machine there, I can't shower there anymore.
So poor me, sweaty and dirty from an all night biking outing, can't f**king shower because of her inconsideration! Do you know how annoying that is?! I was out the whole night in the middle of the rain (ok, drizzle), so I was wet (of course now dry le), and with all the dirt, smoke, etc from riding on the road, I feel so damn dirty lah!
Bitch. No blardy manners. I don't give a damn whether you're sick and dying or drunk. You blardy well clean up after your own mess at other people's house. This is NOT your house toilet, nor the public toilet, nor your own house toilet. Don't you have any manners, discipline? F**k lor, if I do puke in the office toilet lah, and I make a mess, I'll still clean up lor. Smell wise, I can't do much, but at least don't leave unsightly stains lah! Somemore now you're at other people's house lor!
I don't care if others reading this think I'm being too harsh or too worked up. Try being in my shoes and then tell it in my face then I'm unreasonable to be like this. I'll give you a slap across the face.
I'm so going to complain and scold my brother in front of her. Whether she's in the room or in the toilet. I don't give a damn if she hears it and feels upset. I don't give a damn if my brother gets upset and has a fight or argument with me. Partly because SHE is in the wrong, not me. You bring her home to sleep with you, YOU be responsible for her actions. Hell, even my hubby will clean the toilet bowl when he sees shit stains left by one of us. And she can't blardy clean up after herself?!
And partly because MY BRO didn't give a damn about my feelings and hubby's when he made snide/sarcastic remarks about him. HE also made my life miserable last time when hubby was over at my place with all his insensitive remarks. So why the f**k should I care about HIS feelings?! No blardy way.
That's why I believe in karma. What goes around, comes around. You snub my hubby before, now I snub your girl. All's fair. I don't give a shit if my bro picks a fight with me and gives me hell. I'm no blardy pushover and he got it coming. I didn't settle my scores with him then, so I shall settle them now.
I'm still annoyed that I can't shower. I'll wait till mum comes out and if she dares to accuse me of that dirty deed, I'm so gonna scream at her and yell injustice and curse and swear at the girl in my bro's room. F**k lor, no matter how messy, how dirty, how unhygenic I may be, I at least have the decency to not affect other people's lives with my actions.
I still have another hour to go before mum wakes up. -_- Now it's 5.30am. Luckily I don't have work tomorrow, or so help me God, I'll be raising hell at home.
F**k lor. She blardy hell vomitted in the toilet bowl, didn't flush properly, didn't clean up the residue left on the toilet seat and the area between the seat and cover. WTF~! Do you know how f**king gross it is?! And how blardy stinky it is?! HOW THE F**K AM I SUPPOSED TO SHOWER?! And worse still, my laptop is just in front of the toilet lah! How am I supposed to surf my net in comfort?!
End up I have to close the door and spray my perfume outside. -_- And I can't f**king shower, because the back toilet is so cramped itself, and now with the washing machine there, I can't shower there anymore.
So poor me, sweaty and dirty from an all night biking outing, can't f**king shower because of her inconsideration! Do you know how annoying that is?! I was out the whole night in the middle of the rain (ok, drizzle), so I was wet (of course now dry le), and with all the dirt, smoke, etc from riding on the road, I feel so damn dirty lah!
Bitch. No blardy manners. I don't give a damn whether you're sick and dying or drunk. You blardy well clean up after your own mess at other people's house. This is NOT your house toilet, nor the public toilet, nor your own house toilet. Don't you have any manners, discipline? F**k lor, if I do puke in the office toilet lah, and I make a mess, I'll still clean up lor. Smell wise, I can't do much, but at least don't leave unsightly stains lah! Somemore now you're at other people's house lor!
I don't care if others reading this think I'm being too harsh or too worked up. Try being in my shoes and then tell it in my face then I'm unreasonable to be like this. I'll give you a slap across the face.
I'm so going to complain and scold my brother in front of her. Whether she's in the room or in the toilet. I don't give a damn if she hears it and feels upset. I don't give a damn if my brother gets upset and has a fight or argument with me. Partly because SHE is in the wrong, not me. You bring her home to sleep with you, YOU be responsible for her actions. Hell, even my hubby will clean the toilet bowl when he sees shit stains left by one of us. And she can't blardy clean up after herself?!
And partly because MY BRO didn't give a damn about my feelings and hubby's when he made snide/sarcastic remarks about him. HE also made my life miserable last time when hubby was over at my place with all his insensitive remarks. So why the f**k should I care about HIS feelings?! No blardy way.
That's why I believe in karma. What goes around, comes around. You snub my hubby before, now I snub your girl. All's fair. I don't give a shit if my bro picks a fight with me and gives me hell. I'm no blardy pushover and he got it coming. I didn't settle my scores with him then, so I shall settle them now.
I'm still annoyed that I can't shower. I'll wait till mum comes out and if she dares to accuse me of that dirty deed, I'm so gonna scream at her and yell injustice and curse and swear at the girl in my bro's room. F**k lor, no matter how messy, how dirty, how unhygenic I may be, I at least have the decency to not affect other people's lives with my actions.
I still have another hour to go before mum wakes up. -_- Now it's 5.30am. Luckily I don't have work tomorrow, or so help me God, I'll be raising hell at home.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Random Post...
Actually this is a long overdue post. Wanted to blog about the other time I went back to his hometown in his bro-in-law's car.
Heh, as usual, at tbe Customs, the officer will look at me and the passport. Then he look to and fro for some time before asking who is this (pointing to the passport photo). -_- Ello, only got 2 girls in the car lor. So difficult to recognize meh?
Anyhow, I dunno what the f*** I was thinking. I just grinned broadly and give a V sign. -_- I think the officer also stunned. Ah lao just smacked my head and groaned in exasperation. Lol. =x Yah, kind of stupid I know. I just don't know what's going on in my head to make me have such an action. Duh.
* WARNING: COARSE LANGUAGE USED BELOW. Rated: M18 *
Oh yah, today a STUPID CHEENA SISSY GUY pissed me off. KNN, the f**king asshole is in the blardy wrong, and yet thinks so lowly about our government's rules and regulations and that by his mere 'explanations', he can get away unscathed. How naive and idiotic lah! Never think of the blardy consequences lor!
And CCB, that motherf**ker actually RAISED HIS PCB VOICE AT ME! NOBODY F**KING RAISES THEIR VOICES AT ME OK! Even Elvis also kena my scolding when he raised his voice at me. Don't say Elvis lah, even my ah lao is not spared when on rare occassions he also raises his voice at me.
Anyway, I'm just so f**king pissed with that lor! Stupid sissy boy, I hope you blardy rot on Earth and in Hell. I pray for the day I see your sickening face in the papers saying you're to be jailed or deported or killed. So that I can have a good laugh and will certainly make my day! TMD. If I am the unprofessional kind of person, you can be certain I'll make sure you regret RAISING YOUR BLARDY VOICE AT ME AND BEING SO INSOLENT. Mark my words.
I'm generally not an evil and so full of hatred person. -_- I'm generally nice to everyone. and those who are especially nicer to me, I'll be even nicer. =) But those who f**king are so sickeningly rude and pisses me off, there will be hell to pay. Step on my tail, and I'll NEVER let you off.
The one thing I detest most, is people SHOUTING or even RAISING THEIR VOICES AT ME. NOBODY DOES THAT AND GETS AWAY FROM IT!
So annoyed lah, that I can't do anything to him. CCB. Dulanz. F**king Cheena sissy boy. Hope you kena raped by Bangalas tonight.
Heh, as usual, at tbe Customs, the officer will look at me and the passport. Then he look to and fro for some time before asking who is this (pointing to the passport photo). -_- Ello, only got 2 girls in the car lor. So difficult to recognize meh?
Anyhow, I dunno what the f*** I was thinking. I just grinned broadly and give a V sign. -_- I think the officer also stunned. Ah lao just smacked my head and groaned in exasperation. Lol. =x Yah, kind of stupid I know. I just don't know what's going on in my head to make me have such an action. Duh.
Oh yah, today a STUPID CHEENA SISSY GUY pissed me off. KNN, the f**king asshole is in the blardy wrong, and yet thinks so lowly about our government's rules and regulations and that by his mere 'explanations', he can get away unscathed. How naive and idiotic lah! Never think of the blardy consequences lor!
And CCB, that motherf**ker actually RAISED HIS PCB VOICE AT ME! NOBODY F**KING RAISES THEIR VOICES AT ME OK! Even Elvis also kena my scolding when he raised his voice at me. Don't say Elvis lah, even my ah lao is not spared when on rare occassions he also raises his voice at me.
Anyway, I'm just so f**king pissed with that lor! Stupid sissy boy, I hope you blardy rot on Earth and in Hell. I pray for the day I see your sickening face in the papers saying you're to be jailed or deported or killed. So that I can have a good laugh and will certainly make my day! TMD. If I am the unprofessional kind of person, you can be certain I'll make sure you regret RAISING YOUR BLARDY VOICE AT ME AND BEING SO INSOLENT. Mark my words.
I'm generally not an evil and so full of hatred person. -_- I'm generally nice to everyone. and those who are especially nicer to me, I'll be even nicer. =) But those who f**king are so sickeningly rude and pisses me off, there will be hell to pay. Step on my tail, and I'll NEVER let you off.
The one thing I detest most, is people SHOUTING or even RAISING THEIR VOICES AT ME. NOBODY DOES THAT AND GETS AWAY FROM IT!
So annoyed lah, that I can't do anything to him. CCB. Dulanz. F**king Cheena sissy boy. Hope you kena raped by Bangalas tonight.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
If You Could Turn Back Time...
... would you want to change anything?
As a true Libra, I see things from different viewpoints. =p
If I really want to change, perhaps another family. Sad but true. Reason being if I were born in a different family, perhaps I'll not be the way I am now. I think your family really do play a part in shaping the way you are now. I see myself following my mum's footsteps, but all the bad points. -_- I don't like it. If I were say in a family like my cousins', perhaps, just perhaps, I'll be more ambitious, smarter at work, better in relationships, etc.
If I really want to change, perhaps to be more religious. Never wavering. I do believe there's a God, but many a times, I feel like He isn't watching over me as I'd like Him to. When I was at my most depressive moments, I can't feel Him. I lost the faith along the rocky path. But as my best friend would say, He just has better plans for me, but He's always there. Nah, I'm not preaching. I hate people who preach despite their better intentions. I'm not known for acknowledging people who try and preach me.
Still got others, but I think I'll just stop here. =p
But then again, if I can change things, what I have now will change too. Nothing is constant. And do I want to change things that I have now? Not very likely. Family relationship is better now than before. I have a loving husband who I have a love-hate relationship with. =p (Yah, sometimes he annoys the hell out of me and we fight like, quite constantly as poor Bui would know since she has to listen to me whine and complain and rant about him. Sorry! =x But still, he's still there for me. I'm just a difficult person to be with and so far only he can tahan me.) I enjoy what I'm doing now, really, though a better paycheck would be fabulous. =p I have friends whom I know I can keep for life.
If I really do change the past, I don't think I'll still find this job. I don't think I'll meet these kind of colleagues, friends and acquaintances. I don't think I'll meet those guys from my past. I don't think I'll meet him. I don't think I'll have the current life that I have. My life may be better, maybe worse. You'll never know.
It just makes me think that, one shouldn't focus on the past, thinking about the many 'if onlys', 'what ifs', 'what could haves', etc. Should might as well look forward and see how you can shape your future. What for wishing to turn back time and change things? It's not as if there's a guarantee that your life would be better now. It could just easily become worser.
I'm just so in a philosophical mood. -_- *yawns* I think I think too much sometimes. Lol.
As a true Libra, I see things from different viewpoints. =p
If I really want to change, perhaps another family. Sad but true. Reason being if I were born in a different family, perhaps I'll not be the way I am now. I think your family really do play a part in shaping the way you are now. I see myself following my mum's footsteps, but all the bad points. -_- I don't like it. If I were say in a family like my cousins', perhaps, just perhaps, I'll be more ambitious, smarter at work, better in relationships, etc.
If I really want to change, perhaps to be more religious. Never wavering. I do believe there's a God, but many a times, I feel like He isn't watching over me as I'd like Him to. When I was at my most depressive moments, I can't feel Him. I lost the faith along the rocky path. But as my best friend would say, He just has better plans for me, but He's always there. Nah, I'm not preaching. I hate people who preach despite their better intentions. I'm not known for acknowledging people who try and preach me.
Still got others, but I think I'll just stop here. =p
But then again, if I can change things, what I have now will change too. Nothing is constant. And do I want to change things that I have now? Not very likely. Family relationship is better now than before. I have a loving husband who I have a love-hate relationship with. =p (Yah, sometimes he annoys the hell out of me and we fight like, quite constantly as poor Bui would know since she has to listen to me whine and complain and rant about him. Sorry! =x But still, he's still there for me. I'm just a difficult person to be with and so far only he can tahan me.) I enjoy what I'm doing now, really, though a better paycheck would be fabulous. =p I have friends whom I know I can keep for life.
If I really do change the past, I don't think I'll still find this job. I don't think I'll meet these kind of colleagues, friends and acquaintances. I don't think I'll meet those guys from my past. I don't think I'll meet him. I don't think I'll have the current life that I have. My life may be better, maybe worse. You'll never know.
It just makes me think that, one shouldn't focus on the past, thinking about the many 'if onlys', 'what ifs', 'what could haves', etc. Should might as well look forward and see how you can shape your future. What for wishing to turn back time and change things? It's not as if there's a guarantee that your life would be better now. It could just easily become worser.
I'm just so in a philosophical mood. -_- *yawns* I think I think too much sometimes. Lol.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
I Wanna Complain...
Sorry Tam, wanna blog something else more interesting, but I wanna complain! Gonna be draggy. -_- As usual lah, about HIM!
His secondary school classmate invited him to her wedding. Then he never ask me or what, just say he going, then if I follow him what am I gonna do there. WTF. Means he not bringing me lah! -_-
Angry because he never ask me and make his own decision. Also because it makes me feel like he doesn't want to bring me go because too fat and ugly lor. So shameful. *SULKS* Then he gimme crap reasons like she invited him only, he just wanna save money (because if I go, means he gotta fork out more for angpao mah), and doesn't want to inconvenience her by asking if I can go or not.
What the hell lor. To me these are crap reasons. Maybe I'm being unreasonable. Perhaps. But it just annoys the hell out of me. It doesn't help that he is also as bad-tempered as me. So two stubborn mules together, both go nowhere.
But no meh, if wedding dinner of course husband and wife go together what. Even if invitation card never write also expected one mah. So difficult to ask one meh? And ang pao money I cannot fork out half meh? What c**k lor. Maybe she don't know he ROM liao mah, so never ask him and his wife what. Duh.
Anyhow, am just frustrated. *Trying to think happy thoughts*
His secondary school classmate invited him to her wedding. Then he never ask me or what, just say he going, then if I follow him what am I gonna do there. WTF. Means he not bringing me lah! -_-
Angry because he never ask me and make his own decision. Also because it makes me feel like he doesn't want to bring me go because too fat and ugly lor. So shameful. *SULKS* Then he gimme crap reasons like she invited him only, he just wanna save money (because if I go, means he gotta fork out more for angpao mah), and doesn't want to inconvenience her by asking if I can go or not.
What the hell lor. To me these are crap reasons. Maybe I'm being unreasonable. Perhaps. But it just annoys the hell out of me. It doesn't help that he is also as bad-tempered as me. So two stubborn mules together, both go nowhere.
But no meh, if wedding dinner of course husband and wife go together what. Even if invitation card never write also expected one mah. So difficult to ask one meh? And ang pao money I cannot fork out half meh? What c**k lor. Maybe she don't know he ROM liao mah, so never ask him and his wife what. Duh.
Anyhow, am just frustrated. *Trying to think happy thoughts*
Monday, October 22, 2007
KL Trip...
Went ahead with the KL trip! =D So glad we did. Anyhow, we had to go, because his friend had already booked a hotel for us and coach tickets back to Singapore.
Enjoyed myself there, though please remind me NEVER to wear high heels there. Walked like mad lah. I didn't wear my sneakers up, because we wanted to buy new matching sneakers there. And I was going to wear my high boots there to the wedding dinner anyway. And it didn't help that stupid 'auntie visit' came just the day before lor. So tired from the long coach ride up, having blardy cramps and walking with my heavy bag in the stupid heels, made me REALLY grumpy.
And so of course we argued when we reached KLCC. He was grumpy too, because probably tired from the coach ride too, and worried about me, because I was stuck in the toilet for so long. So he was pulling a long face when I finally surfaced from the toilet. Which of course irritated me. But well, as usual lah, we don't argue for long. =p And I'm happy to report that no other arguments during the whole trip, so yeah! (Hey, it's an achievement lor. =p Bui will know why. Lol.)
Anyhow, KL definitely is not a place for me. Too many good food! Went out with his brother's family, and ate SO much! But enjoyed spending time with them. =) Had a good time at the dinner too, with his friends, though I look pretty retarded there, because everyone spoke Cantonese, and my Cantonese is pretty limited. -_- I only understood bits and pieces lor. Worse is that he also started talking to me in Cantonese. -_-
But I'm so proud of myself! *smirks* For once I tried to be unselfish and reasonable and understanding lor. Hahahahaha... Let him have fun going for a foot massage with his friends for slightly less than an hour, instead of making him come back to the hotel with me to countdown for my birthday lor. And I went back and packed our bags for him. It was a total mess when we left for the dinner, because we ended up changing clothes for the dinner. (Brought our ROM suits, because he wanted to wear that, so might as well follow him lor. But ended up last minute changing back to NORMAL clothes. =p And you know I'm a messy person. =x)
So yah, so poor me was alone in the hotel room on my birthday. He came back right after the massage lah. =p Thought he may wanted to go out for supper or something with his friend, since he hasn't met up with him for ages. I had smsed him to say it's ok, I'll be fine on my own. =p
Anyhow, yah, *beams* At least he appreciates all that! Heee... Nothing much on my birthday though, no surprises, what not. *sighs* But well, he's like that lah. What to do. -_- Blockhead. But still a loveable one. =) This trip has been real successful I must say. Hopefully the next one will be just as fun and happy! =) But don't know when lah. Should be next year bah. =(
Anyway, thanks all for the birthday wishes. Really touched. =) *muacks* Love ya all!
Enjoyed myself there, though please remind me NEVER to wear high heels there. Walked like mad lah. I didn't wear my sneakers up, because we wanted to buy new matching sneakers there. And I was going to wear my high boots there to the wedding dinner anyway. And it didn't help that stupid 'auntie visit' came just the day before lor. So tired from the long coach ride up, having blardy cramps and walking with my heavy bag in the stupid heels, made me REALLY grumpy.
And so of course we argued when we reached KLCC. He was grumpy too, because probably tired from the coach ride too, and worried about me, because I was stuck in the toilet for so long. So he was pulling a long face when I finally surfaced from the toilet. Which of course irritated me. But well, as usual lah, we don't argue for long. =p And I'm happy to report that no other arguments during the whole trip, so yeah! (Hey, it's an achievement lor. =p Bui will know why. Lol.)
Anyhow, KL definitely is not a place for me. Too many good food! Went out with his brother's family, and ate SO much! But enjoyed spending time with them. =) Had a good time at the dinner too, with his friends, though I look pretty retarded there, because everyone spoke Cantonese, and my Cantonese is pretty limited. -_- I only understood bits and pieces lor. Worse is that he also started talking to me in Cantonese. -_-
But I'm so proud of myself! *smirks* For once I tried to be unselfish and reasonable and understanding lor. Hahahahaha... Let him have fun going for a foot massage with his friends for slightly less than an hour, instead of making him come back to the hotel with me to countdown for my birthday lor. And I went back and packed our bags for him. It was a total mess when we left for the dinner, because we ended up changing clothes for the dinner. (Brought our ROM suits, because he wanted to wear that, so might as well follow him lor. But ended up last minute changing back to NORMAL clothes. =p And you know I'm a messy person. =x)
So yah, so poor me was alone in the hotel room on my birthday. He came back right after the massage lah. =p Thought he may wanted to go out for supper or something with his friend, since he hasn't met up with him for ages. I had smsed him to say it's ok, I'll be fine on my own. =p
Anyhow, yah, *beams* At least he appreciates all that! Heee... Nothing much on my birthday though, no surprises, what not. *sighs* But well, he's like that lah. What to do. -_- Blockhead. But still a loveable one. =) This trip has been real successful I must say. Hopefully the next one will be just as fun and happy! =) But don't know when lah. Should be next year bah. =(
Anyway, thanks all for the birthday wishes. Really touched. =) *muacks* Love ya all!
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Funeral...
Sometimes I hate myself for being so petty. Like I told Bui on Monday, when his godma had passed away, I hated myself for not accompanying him on Sunday when he went to visit her. Granted, I didn't know she was so sick. I thought he was only going to drop by and see her. I had sulked because he was about to leave the house without me, without telling me where he was going. So when I had thrown tantrum before he stepped out, he just said he was going to his godma, and only when I sulked and asked why he didn't ask me, did he ask. By then I was already fuming because it's like, HELLO, this type of thing don't need to ask lor. You tell me I'll sure go with you one. But then when he asked I refused to go and sulked in the room. Only when he returned, did he explain that he was just worried that I'll be uncomfortable or scared being there since she was so sick.
And then Monday morning, she passed away.
So yeah, I still felt much regret for not going, so throwing tantrums. *sighs* I just feel so bad. Not to mention feeling guilty for daring to even THINK how my KL trip and birthday is ruined because he said most probably we're not going to KL anymore to attend the wedding. -_- Bad right? Haiz.
Anyhow, I just hope he won't be feeling so sad. Because he sort of thinks he was a jinx, because she died the next day after seeing him. But it was otherwise. Apparently, she had deteriorated on Wednesday or something, and then she just couldn't fall asleep. Only after seeing him, did she sleep and then she never woke up. =( She even bought him a gold ring after his mum showed her our ROM photos, which her kids passed to him yesterday.
Sighs. I just wish I don't have to attend anymore funerals. (I went back with him to accompany him.) Depressing. And I hate how he doesn't tell me how he feels, what he's thinking.
But this whole issue has taught me something. That you don't know when you'll die. It's best to have no regrets. At least, more or less, his godma shouldn't have much regrets. Seeing how she had waited to see him before she left. She had said her goodbyes to him. And I really should learn to control my stubborness and temper. -_-
Only he can tahan me and lets me off for all my tantrums, stubborness and such. I think only he can really love me despite all my faults.
And then Monday morning, she passed away.
So yeah, I still felt much regret for not going, so throwing tantrums. *sighs* I just feel so bad. Not to mention feeling guilty for daring to even THINK how my KL trip and birthday is ruined because he said most probably we're not going to KL anymore to attend the wedding. -_- Bad right? Haiz.
Anyhow, I just hope he won't be feeling so sad. Because he sort of thinks he was a jinx, because she died the next day after seeing him. But it was otherwise. Apparently, she had deteriorated on Wednesday or something, and then she just couldn't fall asleep. Only after seeing him, did she sleep and then she never woke up. =( She even bought him a gold ring after his mum showed her our ROM photos, which her kids passed to him yesterday.
Sighs. I just wish I don't have to attend anymore funerals. (I went back with him to accompany him.) Depressing. And I hate how he doesn't tell me how he feels, what he's thinking.
But this whole issue has taught me something. That you don't know when you'll die. It's best to have no regrets. At least, more or less, his godma shouldn't have much regrets. Seeing how she had waited to see him before she left. She had said her goodbyes to him. And I really should learn to control my stubborness and temper. -_-
Only he can tahan me and lets me off for all my tantrums, stubborness and such. I think only he can really love me despite all my faults.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Jaded...
I don't know why, but am feeling so jaded.
I'm sick of feeling this way. I want to go back to feeling so carefree and happy-go-lucky. But have I ever felt that way before in the first place?
Why can't things be simpler? And yet sometimes it's me who think things into things more complicated than they really are.
Hopefully the reason why I'm feeling this way is because of PMS. PRE. =(
Usually when I'm having PMS, I get pretty oversensitive. Like, way overboard. So yah, I guess what I'm saying is that I feel like he loves me lesser because I'm getting so fat.
*sighs*
Times like this, I wish I were aneroxic.
I'm sick of feeling this way. I want to go back to feeling so carefree and happy-go-lucky. But have I ever felt that way before in the first place?
Why can't things be simpler? And yet sometimes it's me who think things into things more complicated than they really are.
Hopefully the reason why I'm feeling this way is because of PMS. PRE. =(
Usually when I'm having PMS, I get pretty oversensitive. Like, way overboard. So yah, I guess what I'm saying is that I feel like he loves me lesser because I'm getting so fat.
*sighs*
Times like this, I wish I were aneroxic.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
My Birthday Wishlist...
My Birthday Wish List:-
1) A new Sony Ericsson phone
– my phone 'koyak' liao leh... but I'm waiting for the latest phone to finally arrive. K850i. One of the best. But also quite like W960i too. Touch-screen. Love that!
2) A new BIG pillow
– to replace my old pillow in the office? Wahahahahaha...
3) Nintendo DS Lite
– pretty please? 2nd hand also can... =p I think the games quite cute leh! And handy for me when I go over to HIS place and he's surfing the net and ignoring me.
4) A sugar-daddy
– to buy me all the things I want and yet don't need. -_- I also want to be disgustingly rich and collect mobile phones as a hobby. *pouts*
5) Miniature perfume set
– I love anything miniature, period. Some miniature perfume bottles are so uniquely shaped. Interesting. Those cute little cakes, food, figurines are so darn cute can? =p When I have my own home, I'm gonna make sure he buys me a glass cabinet for me to fill with cute little trinkets.
6) A new soft toy, something like 'Jimmy'
– one of my weakness; soft toys just make me go "OOH SO KEWTTT". -_- I think that's probably the only time anyone will see the girly side of me. Hahaha… =p I think when I have my own home, I'm gonna have a "Soft Toys" corner. And my bed's gonna be KING SIZED, so that I can bring them to bed with me. Well, worse come to worst, he can go sleep on the floor... *chuckles*
7) Christian Dior eye-shadow set
– the pink casing with a big 'bling bling' D lettering in front? I think it's awfully pretty! Though I don't know if I'll have much use for that, because I don't really apply eye shadows. Don't know how, to be frank. I only know how to draw smoky eyes. But that's easy. Just draw thick eyeliner and go to sleep. Wake up with instant smoky eyes. Lol!
8) Laptop
– I want a laptop to call my own. Compact and portable. So that I can bring it over to his place and surf net too.
9) Story books
– As thick as possible, preferably romance? Or touching kind. I like books that can make me cry. =p Thick because it can keep me occupied for quite some time. Hahahaha. None of those erotic fiction, as Bui would have thought, I'm sure. =p Don't know leh, I prefer reality than fantasy. =x
10) Pet
– I'd love a pet mouse can? =D Dogs are too high maintenance lah. Imagine the vaccinations, food, etc, gonna cost quite abit. And not as if I'm very rich lor. But a pet mouse, well, it's easier to handle and to bring around too! =p But must make sure he'll do the cleaning up for me. Kekekeke...
11) Hair Salon Voucher
– I need a new hairstyle! Tempted to do like Lyna leh, but later sure got people say I trying to copy her. Then sian liao lor! I already long time ago wanna perm my hair like that one leh. *SULKS* But I wanna colour my hair also. Hmmm, don't know what colour also. Maybe someone can offer to go with me and give comments and entertain me? =x
12) Something from Edynae http://edynae.livejournal.com/
- I love her stuff! My sis intro-ed me to this site and I REALLY wanna get something from there but seems like quite difficult lah, cos everything gets snapped up within an hour! Do go there and have a look ok! =p *BIG HINT*
And no, I don't want a tub of mayonnaise nor cheese. -_- Wait till I'm pregnant I might consider that. Lol. =p
But honestly, those are like, so material stuff, which I can do without. =) If I'd really have to make a wish, it's just a better life for us, at least to have our own house, fully renovated. The rest of the things, well, as long as I try to save more each month, I sure can get them myself anyway! =)
But why do I have to celebrate my birthday in Malaysia?! -_- Last year's birthday, was still in Malaysia, though coming back here lah. But this year's birthday also same case lor! *SULKS* Not fun one. I want to have a proper celebration! So sad, I last year no birthday cake on my birthday... Because was in Genting lor, on the way back! He got offer to buy lah, but aiyah, no small slices of cake... And then there was only me, him, his sister and bro-in-law, buy one cake and can't finish like quite stupid lor... So end up I tell him don't buy le... But of course got the big teddy bear as present! =p Hehe... Though I don't think this birthday he'll get anything... Because our anniversary I also didn't get him anything! =x Lol...
Can someone please tell him blatantly that he better do something romantic for my birthday?! Because I think subtle hints are lost with him... -_- Don't need to buy me expensive things lor! Handmade stuff I also like one lor! Also 'lomantik' mah! *pouts*
Guys are mostly SO NOT ROMANTIC one! *grumbles* Yesterday I also was talking to my student, saying how in the previous episode of the 9pm Channel 8 drama serials, Chen Hanwei's character was like, so romantic lor, balloons and teddy bear I think in the car-boot, and asked the girl to open the boot in the pretext of getting something. Then that student said the same thing as him lah "Wah lao, expensive lor, romance! Think no need money one meh?" Liews, how expensive can it be wor?! Not as if asking for 1-carat diamond or 9999 red roses, or what lor. >_<
Men. BAH!
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Kneecap Pain Pain... =(
From Tam's blog:
| You Are a Flashy Red Bra! |
 Outgoing, friendly, and fascinating. You're a charmer, with your pick of the men. But you want a man who's as magnetic as you are. You need someone who can keep up with your all night gab fests! |
Doesn't seem like me leh... I where got charmer? -_- But yeah, need someone who can keep up with me! Or more... =p I can't stand boring guys... Because I'm already boring le, wah liews, with a more boring guy who can't keep me entertained, I'll probably die of boredom! Lol...
Oh yah, yesterday (Monday), slipped and banged my knee on the stairs lah. Was raining when he sent me to work, and was wearing the raincoat for my shoes (whatever it called lah), and it was slippery. Walked up the stairs and slipped lor. Wah liews, more painful than tattooing lor! I literally dragged myself up the stairs and stumbled into the office before collapsing onto the chair, because was seeing stars le. -_- That intense ok, the pain?! Felt like puking and fainting. Liews. But after awhile ok lah. Only when Bui tried to rub on my kneecap, I almost slapped her lah. -_- PAIN LOR! Boss worse. Press so hard when I whined to her about it. >_<
Went home and he also tried rubbing. Some parts of the kneecap still not so pain, but kaoz, at one particular spot, the pain was like, long and intense lor! Screamed the house down. =x And feel like got creaking sound sia. He said maybe had hurt my knee ligament or something. Because was slightly swollen, and that spot wasn't exactly bruised. Also whined to him about how this stupid ah pek who was sitting at the stairs, see me fall, and just went "HA HA", without helping. Stupid MF. If I wasn't in so much pain, I'd have cursed and swore at him and threw my shoe at that blardy fella.
Anyway, today ok lah, can walk, only just now when I climbed the stupid escalator which had stopped working, kneecap still hurt. *whines* Ended up wabbling up the stairs. Lol.
Hmmm, nothing much actually. Had a big fight with him during the weekend over an issue, and which I also made known to him some unresolved issues from the past. It's difficult lah, for two people to be together, because of different values, expectations, desires, interpretations, etc. What he seems as ok, is not ok with me. Vice versa. Depends if you want to accept the differences or resolve them by coming to a compromise. Me, I'm usually the one who throws tantrums and he gives in, and I'll be easily placated. Bottomline is, end up there's no proper acceptance that he's that way, and no proper solution. So I guess it all added up and I threw it in his face when I quarrelled with him over an issue. Guess communication is quite important.
Oh well, all's well now, though I don't know if the issues have been resolved or what. But at least I have done my part and told him what I feel and don't like. Up to him if he wants to take them into consideration.
See lah, my entry super long right? =p
Anyway, yeah, birthday coming soon! Gonna celebrate with colleagues (present and ex) early in the month, because especially for me, knowing myself, by end of the month, I'm super broke, and won't have money to go out lah. Lol. Then not nice lor, everytime people jio me out I have to give excuses why I cannot go. Usually if I don't join you guys for outing, most of the time, it's because I'm broke lor, honestly. Not because I want to spend quality time with him. (Ok, that may be partly the reason at times... =p But mostly also because NO MOOLAH!)
Will type up my wish list next entry bah. Actually have written an entry titled My Birthday Wishlist leh, but hor, office block Blogger,so yah, cannot update. WTH.
Ok, I'm heading off to zzzzz...
Monday, September 17, 2007
About Libras...
From Tam's blog:
About Libra: Nice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too easily. Procrastinators. Very gullible.
My comments as below:
1) Nice to everyone they meet.
Hmmmm. Depends; I would say usually, unless you have a kiam-pah face which I see liao and I 'bu shuang' lah. Or you come in with a dao face which annoys me. But I guess true in a way, I'll still make an effort to smile and say hi to people I meet, unless too bad, that day I PMS-ing or somebody had irritated me early in the morning. -_-
2) Can't make up their mind.
This also depends leh! Most of the time I can't make up my mind, which explains my procrastination habit. =p And which explains my behavior, like I can be sweet and understanding to him one minute, and the next I'm giving him hell over a certain issue. =x It's like, I can't make up my mind whether I should be angry with him or just let it go.
3) Have own unique appeal.
Errr... what's that sia. I don't find myself appealing in any way. -_- But I think I'm unique lah… Everyone's unique for that matter! =p My uniqueness? I don't know; simplemindedness? You tell me lah. I ask him what he likes about me, he say my eyes, my boobs… Like, wtf lor... Can someone slap him for me?! =p
4) Creative, energetic, and very social.
Creativity I have none. Wish I had Bui's creativity! Then I can do nice nice cards and pictures for him anytime. -_- Energetic? I'm a lazy bum who likes to sleep leh! Very social? Not really, only perhaps within close friends; but as a whole, I'm not a very sociable person. I scared of interaction with people. -_-
5) Hates to be alone.
Hannor hannor! =p Even though I'm not very sociable, I don't like to be alone, even if I sometimes anti-social. I just don't like facing many people lor. I like smaller group interactions, like maybe just with him only, with my sister, with closer friends or colleagues like, one-to-one, etc?
6) Peaceful, generous.
I'd like to think I am the above! =) But hor, peaceful ar, abit salah leh. Since I like to pick fights with him. -_- But I hate fighting or arguing lah for that matter. Recently I haven't been really peaceful. No idea why. I'm always itching to get into fist fight. Especially with people who are damn fucking rude. Generous, I think so, that's why it annoys me when people are calculative towards me. Or rather, it annoys me more when it happens way after payday and the next payday is still some time away. -_-
7) Very loving and beautiful.
Hee, I'd like to think so too! =p Except for the beautiful part lah. -_- Everyone is prettier than me lor. I wonder what does "very loving" constitutes sia...
8) Flirtatious.
=x My behaviour may seem flirtatious, but I really, honestly have no intent on flirting with anyone. I very guai one ok! Unlike HIM! HMMPPHH! *angry* Bui may know what I'm talking about... Hahaha... Since I always complain to her... Poor thing... =x
9) Give in too easily.
Just call me Miss Pushover. -_- Maybe too simpleminded? No will power lah. I very easy to con one. *rolls eyes*
10) Procrastinators.
*sighs* Don't I know it... Just check out my room, my office workspace, my goals... -_- There's always something that will distract me... I need more will power and determination!
11) Very gullible.
Aka stupidity? Wish I knew how to be less gullible. Maybe I wouldn't be hurt so easily then. Maybe that's why kena 'conned' by him liao... =x he and his honey-coated words in the beginning... hopefully he doesn't read this... wahahahahaha... but he knows I'm joking lah... =p
About Libra: Nice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too easily. Procrastinators. Very gullible.
My comments as below:
1) Nice to everyone they meet.
Hmmmm. Depends; I would say usually, unless you have a kiam-pah face which I see liao and I 'bu shuang' lah. Or you come in with a dao face which annoys me. But I guess true in a way, I'll still make an effort to smile and say hi to people I meet, unless too bad, that day I PMS-ing or somebody had irritated me early in the morning. -_-
2) Can't make up their mind.
This also depends leh! Most of the time I can't make up my mind, which explains my procrastination habit. =p And which explains my behavior, like I can be sweet and understanding to him one minute, and the next I'm giving him hell over a certain issue. =x It's like, I can't make up my mind whether I should be angry with him or just let it go.
3) Have own unique appeal.
Errr... what's that sia. I don't find myself appealing in any way. -_- But I think I'm unique lah… Everyone's unique for that matter! =p My uniqueness? I don't know; simplemindedness? You tell me lah. I ask him what he likes about me, he say my eyes, my boobs… Like, wtf lor... Can someone slap him for me?! =p
4) Creative, energetic, and very social.
Creativity I have none. Wish I had Bui's creativity! Then I can do nice nice cards and pictures for him anytime. -_- Energetic? I'm a lazy bum who likes to sleep leh! Very social? Not really, only perhaps within close friends; but as a whole, I'm not a very sociable person. I scared of interaction with people. -_-
5) Hates to be alone.
Hannor hannor! =p Even though I'm not very sociable, I don't like to be alone, even if I sometimes anti-social. I just don't like facing many people lor. I like smaller group interactions, like maybe just with him only, with my sister, with closer friends or colleagues like, one-to-one, etc?
6) Peaceful, generous.
I'd like to think I am the above! =) But hor, peaceful ar, abit salah leh. Since I like to pick fights with him. -_- But I hate fighting or arguing lah for that matter. Recently I haven't been really peaceful. No idea why. I'm always itching to get into fist fight. Especially with people who are damn fucking rude. Generous, I think so, that's why it annoys me when people are calculative towards me. Or rather, it annoys me more when it happens way after payday and the next payday is still some time away. -_-
7) Very loving and beautiful.
Hee, I'd like to think so too! =p Except for the beautiful part lah. -_- Everyone is prettier than me lor. I wonder what does "very loving" constitutes sia...
8) Flirtatious.
=x My behaviour may seem flirtatious, but I really, honestly have no intent on flirting with anyone. I very guai one ok! Unlike HIM! HMMPPHH! *angry* Bui may know what I'm talking about... Hahaha... Since I always complain to her... Poor thing... =x
9) Give in too easily.
Just call me Miss Pushover. -_- Maybe too simpleminded? No will power lah. I very easy to con one. *rolls eyes*
10) Procrastinators.
*sighs* Don't I know it... Just check out my room, my office workspace, my goals... -_- There's always something that will distract me... I need more will power and determination!
11) Very gullible.
Aka stupidity? Wish I knew how to be less gullible. Maybe I wouldn't be hurt so easily then. Maybe that's why kena 'conned' by him liao... =x he and his honey-coated words in the beginning... hopefully he doesn't read this... wahahahahaha... but he knows I'm joking lah... =p
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Feeling Negative...
I hate...
... being misunderstood.
... being away from and without him.
... being shouted at or showed black faces.
... stupid people who expect to be spoonfed.
... people who are so slow.
... waking up early in the morning.
... his bro-in-law (the one with 3 kids).
... feeling insecure, paranoid, negative.
... crying so hard and nobody to comfort me.
... inquisitive people who are actually being kaypohs.
... being so sucky at most things.
... not having enough to spend.
... rude people who don't know how to say "Excuse me", "Sorry", "Thank you".
... being so fat and ugly.
... not being able to do things I really wish to.
... myself.
... being misunderstood.
... being away from and without him.
... being shouted at or showed black faces.
... stupid people who expect to be spoonfed.
... people who are so slow.
... waking up early in the morning.
... his bro-in-law (the one with 3 kids).
... feeling insecure, paranoid, negative.
... crying so hard and nobody to comfort me.
... inquisitive people who are actually being kaypohs.
... being so sucky at most things.
... not having enough to spend.
... rude people who don't know how to say "Excuse me", "Sorry", "Thank you".
... being so fat and ugly.
... not being able to do things I really wish to.
... myself.
Monday, September 10, 2007
If You Love Someone...
Sounds familiar? Well, it's actually "If you love someone, let him/her go." And of course, the rest of it goes something like, "If it he/she never returns, then it wasn't meant to be." Or something like that.
Just finished reading Jodi Picoult's book 'Mercy'. Nice. =) Inside, there was this phrase that struck out: "If you love someone, you'll take him/her back." The story behind this was about this husband who had an affair.
But how true is it? You take him back, but will things be able to go back to normal? Will you be able to trust him again? Won't you be tormented by his past misdeed(s)? Will you be able to forget what he had done?
Then what?
Or is it better to just let go?
Our solemnizer had a talk with us before the ROM, and had talked about this actually. He told us of this story where the wife had came crying to him when she found out about his affair. The husband, remorseful, had also came to him at a separate timing. The solemnizer had a chat with the wife, and then with the husband, and she decided to forgive him and they started life anew in another country.
Touching story no doubt, but how many people can do that?
Your heart may forgive, but your mind never forgets.
If he does have an affair one day, I know I'll never forget it. Will I forgive him? Maybe, but certainly it will take a long time. Will I take him back? I honestly don't know.
All I do know, is that I won't love him any lesser for that. But I will still won't be able to forget it, I will still be affected by the voices in my head, reminding me of it, taunting me about it. And then will I choose to let go because I can't live with that?
*sighs*
See what I mean by my previous post on "thinking too much"?
Probably afraid of karma I suppose. What goes around, comes around.
Just finished reading Jodi Picoult's book 'Mercy'. Nice. =) Inside, there was this phrase that struck out: "If you love someone, you'll take him/her back." The story behind this was about this husband who had an affair.
But how true is it? You take him back, but will things be able to go back to normal? Will you be able to trust him again? Won't you be tormented by his past misdeed(s)? Will you be able to forget what he had done?
Then what?
Or is it better to just let go?
Our solemnizer had a talk with us before the ROM, and had talked about this actually. He told us of this story where the wife had came crying to him when she found out about his affair. The husband, remorseful, had also came to him at a separate timing. The solemnizer had a chat with the wife, and then with the husband, and she decided to forgive him and they started life anew in another country.
Touching story no doubt, but how many people can do that?
Your heart may forgive, but your mind never forgets.
If he does have an affair one day, I know I'll never forget it. Will I forgive him? Maybe, but certainly it will take a long time. Will I take him back? I honestly don't know.
All I do know, is that I won't love him any lesser for that. But I will still won't be able to forget it, I will still be affected by the voices in my head, reminding me of it, taunting me about it. And then will I choose to let go because I can't live with that?
*sighs*
See what I mean by my previous post on "thinking too much"?
Probably afraid of karma I suppose. What goes around, comes around.
Sunday, September 9, 2007
30 Things About Me...
1. I love tidbits!
Think everyone would know lah. But funnily, I'm not exactly a chocolate person, come to think of it.
2. I've been acting my whole life.
As in I put on a mask with different groups of people; not that I'm fakeo in friendships lah, but well, just know how to hide innermost feelings from most people, unless they are people I trust and love, I tend to be more vocal bah. Certain groups of people are more outgoing and open-minded, so obviously I have to act like them mah, or what's the point in joining them? That's my thinking of course.
3. I am a very contradictory person.
Maybe because I'm Libran? Tend to like to look at things from different perspectives. And then I don't know which side to choose. Whether to listen to my heart, my head, my friends, my family, my angel side, my devil side... -_-
4. I'm a super crybaby.
Dysfunctional tear ducts, what to do? I cry when I'm angry, sad, upset, stress, sick, etc. If I'm sad and I cry, usually it's hard to stop. -_-
5. I'm oversensitive/emotional.
Cry easily at sappy stories, movies, scenes, etc. Angry easily too; little things can annoy the hell out of me. Tend to blame myself if things go wrong, or if people around me are angry or sad. And yet sometimes I won't say anything about it.
6. I'm super temperamental.
I can be happy one moment, angry at another, and sad yet another. It's a wonder I haven't gone insane with this tumultuous emotions coursing through me. -_- Totally unpredictable that's me. =p You'll never know when I'll be super mad at you.
7. I hate others raising their voices at me!
It's darn annoying can? JT likes to do that. So sometimes shout back at her. Know that she probably didn't mean it that negatively as I see it, but I just don't like it can?
8. I hate others who gimme black faces!
Literally translated from Chinese ar. =p Yah, if after processing and I feel that I'm not in the wrong, it's not my fault, etc, I'll be damn angry lah. And my mood will be spoilt the whole day.
9. I hate others who are super inquisitive about very personal parts of my life.
Like my mum lah! Annoying lor, the way she nags on about us getting a flat, how much he earning, etc. I'm not ashamed at how little he earns, how less educated he is, how uncouth he may seem, etc. But I just cannot stand the look on her face and others which clearly shows that they look down on him. Which is why those kind of questions annoys the hell out of me?
10. I am super insecure.
If you are given my old blog links to read, you'll see how so. -_- I just don't see anything good about me. No, seriously. Not like trying to garner sympathy, or etc. That's what I hate most too. That's why I need alot of reassurance. ALOT.
11. I am quite a private person.
Hiding my feelings, thoughts, etc is something I've always been doing. Because I hate talking about them and people keep asking me questions, look at me like I'm oh-so-pitiful, giving me answers that I don't want to hear, or telling me stuff that though are truths, but are so like stabs to my heart.
12. I like writing!
Poems, stories, blogs. Poems, only when I'm depressed. Don't ask me why, but I can't write happy poems. I can't find the words to describe them. -_- Stories, aiyah, just some romance novels. Short stories more like. Used to scribble my stories on A4 papers, but don't know where I've thrown them to. = But yeah, I can be very long-winded when I start to write/blog, because the words just flows. Perhaps it's my way of releasing my inner thoughts which usually I'm not so verbal about.
13. I am quite a loner.
Prefers to be alone. Or with him. Or with my closer friends. Or as long as it's with a smaller group of people. Don't know, just don't really know how to mix with people? Though you see me like very kawan-kawan ar, but actually I don't really know how to interact in a group. Because sometimes feel abit left out in the topics they talk about. Maybe my fault at times for being anti-social. But I feel most comfortable being alone with a book and music. =p
14. I've always wanted to be a good mom.
Eh, don't laugh leh! *sulks* I not like most people, so career-driven, so motivated, so ambitious, etc. I simple-minded can? =p I just want to be a working mom. Heh. Too bad lah, no money. He's right lah, get flat first before thinking of that.
15. I'm simple-minded/naive.
Good or bad? Don't know. I'm contented easily; I just need a good paying job, close friends, my own family, a place to call my home. Actually, even if I'm stuck at this hell-hole, if I still have him and he doesn't cheat on me, have affairs, those kind of shit, I think I'll still be happy. =) Haha, I do think so naively at times eh?
16. I adore little animals and kids!
Kids are little animals mah! Lol. =p But love the furry little things, oh so cute lor! =D I wanna buy a small rodent leh. But I sure lazy to change the bedding and clean the cage lor. Think it will die of neglect lah. -_- So better not be murderer. Not as if I'm not anyway. *sighs* Right Bui?
17. I'm so a sucker for romance!
Oh sweep me off my feet with roses, champagne and serenade me under the moon and stars~ Haha. Blame it on all the romance novels that I was hooked on since teenage years lah. Lol. Hmmm, but why the hell did I choose him who knows no romance?! -_- As my first ex who knew me truly, I'll feel romanced even if it's small surprises or gifts every now and then. Even if it's just bookmarks, cute pens, etc, that's enough for me. =p
18. I love soft toys!
I have enough soft toys at home to open a mini shop ok! =x But of course, most of them are from quite some time back, but yeah, I love soft toys lah! Especially those like my office pillow's skin! =p I'm very bad, sometimes I buy soft toys for other kids, end up I buy extra for myself, or keep those toys and buy other stuff for them. =x
19. I'm fiercely protective over my loved ones.
Friends, family members. Yup, and I will resort to violence if provoked, no doubt about that. Scary? =p Nah, just that when I'm really agitated, I won't hesitate to raise my fist. When I'm angry enough, fear will no longer be in my dictionary. I still remember when my bro was bullied during Sunday School and cried to me after service, I went after the bully and knocked him over. Few years back I think, there was this madman harassing my mum, scolding her, shouting expletives, taunting comments at her while she was playing tennis. One day I accompanied her and he was doing that again. Confronted him and when he threw his packet of coffee at me, all hell broke loose and yes I did fight him. Fists, and chairs flew lah. Lol. Anyway, I won't hesitate to stand up for my loved ones if they kena bullied.
20. I've had asthma before.
Don't know why my asthma will go away leh. Got like that one meh? -_- I miss having the inhaler leh. Sweet taste. Lol. Hmmm, maybe I didn't have asthma, just that was addicted to the inhaler only? Maybe yah? Hahaha.
21. I used to go to church!
Actually this is interesting. How do you define Christians? I don't go to church anymore. Partly because nobody I know goes, or if they go, it's like so far lah. Also because I'm lazy. =p I rather sleep late on Sunday mornings. But I do believe there's a God, I know He exists, I know He always has a plan for each of us. Sometimes I do pray to Him, talk to Him. Of course not like, pray for Him to let me strike Toto lah, though that would be nice =x but I think His answer will either be No or Wait. -_- So am I considered Christian? =p Used to love going to church, singing the hymns, especially during Christmas, my favourite part would be the carols! ^_^ Missed going caroling. *sighs* Those were the days.
22. I am an ultimate bookworm.
I love reading! Since young always been caught reading books at any time of the day. Don't know why I love reading, since my parents don't like reading. In fact, they discourage me from reading lah! Except if I'm reading assessment books, textbooks of course. Otherwise, they are annoyed if they find me reading books, and had even gone to the extent of banning me from reading romance fiction, Archie comics. Former because later I'll be like boy-crazy and won't concentrate on studies, latter because the words too small, spoil my eyesight. -_- Reading brings me to another world, where I'm non-existent, where I can be anywhere but in reality.
23. I think too much for my own good.
Worst habit ever. I hate doing this! I'll end up thinking of all the possible scenarios, things that may happen, and I get upset over the unhappy stuff, happy at the happy stuff, and end up feeling upset and happy and God-knows-what-other-emotions. End result? A very confused me. -_- That's why one minute I can say "Never mind, it's ok" and smile, and the next, I start being angry and say "Actually it's not ok!" and I'll start sulking. Poor him, I must say. =p
24. I AM shy!
Oei! STOP LAUGHING! I am shy ok! =p That's why I always seem quite unfriendly at the beginning. Because I don't know what to say, so I just keep quiet. I was the kind who is scared even to request ketchup from waiters at restaurants. Yes, and this was only a few years back, before I started working ok! And precisely why I hate doing Orientations; they freak me out.
25. I've always wanted to migrate.
I really want to migrate or work overseas, even if it's for a short period of time! Maybe migrate to Aussie! I love the life there, the people, the beach, the food… I'm also interested in going Japan to teach English. One of my dreams. =p But don't think so lah. Don't think I'm capable of surviving alone in other countries. -_-
26. My aspiration was to be a kindergarten teacher, or playgroup teacher.
Hmmm, simply because I love kids? =p But they usually require you to have Early Childhood Education Diploma, which I don't have and now can't afford to study. Besides, it also won't earn much. So scrap that idea le. *sighs* Maybe as a part-time job? That would be cool... =)
27. I sometimes do get into depressive state.
I hate it when I go into depressive state. I get angry at everyone, or sad about life, and just have no mood for anything. I'll just be no different from a zombie! And no books or music can cheer me up, because when I'm in a depressive state, I listen to depressing songs. -_- So not healthy. And yes, I do have suicidal thoughts. It's a wonder I'm still here. Really.
28. I have a Love-Hate relationship with mum.
To others, she's the perfect mum, who bakes, cooks, does housework for the family, etc. Takes cares of her daughter's friends if and when they come over. Blah blah blah. But who sees the cane marks so brutally given and with lousy reasons like 'because your daddy caned your brother'? Who hears how she scolded me, sometimes using expletives and hurting words like 'he made you a prostitute' or 'you might as well go and get f***ed at geylang'? Who sees how she punished me by banishing me to the balconey even when it's cold and wet there or to the corridor and make me kneel there? I could so write an essay on how she treated me before. And how much I hated her then. Of course now things are considerably better lah. Because I learnt to strike back and she knows she can't hurt me no more. But probably because mellowing down as age creeps up to her. So yeah, she sometimes does behave like a bitch lah, but well, most of the time, her heart IS in the right place, just that I don't agree with her behavior that's all.
29. I can cook!
Though ok, maybe not like, whip up a 3 course meal, pretty desserts like in cafes, restaurants, etc. But ok, at least I can cook like, proper meals, with rice, meat, vegetables? =p Though I wish I knew how to bake lah.
30. I can read people's minds.
I know Bui must be thinking how come I haven't mentioned sex, or much about him, etc. =p Lol... Though hor, actually this point is because I've run out of things about myself lah. Maybe you can tell me about me? Or how you see me? Idea eh? Ask others to write 10 things about yourself. Hmmm...
Think everyone would know lah. But funnily, I'm not exactly a chocolate person, come to think of it.
2. I've been acting my whole life.
As in I put on a mask with different groups of people; not that I'm fakeo in friendships lah, but well, just know how to hide innermost feelings from most people, unless they are people I trust and love, I tend to be more vocal bah. Certain groups of people are more outgoing and open-minded, so obviously I have to act like them mah, or what's the point in joining them? That's my thinking of course.
3. I am a very contradictory person.
Maybe because I'm Libran? Tend to like to look at things from different perspectives. And then I don't know which side to choose. Whether to listen to my heart, my head, my friends, my family, my angel side, my devil side... -_-
4. I'm a super crybaby.
Dysfunctional tear ducts, what to do? I cry when I'm angry, sad, upset, stress, sick, etc. If I'm sad and I cry, usually it's hard to stop. -_-
5. I'm oversensitive/emotional.
Cry easily at sappy stories, movies, scenes, etc. Angry easily too; little things can annoy the hell out of me. Tend to blame myself if things go wrong, or if people around me are angry or sad. And yet sometimes I won't say anything about it.
6. I'm super temperamental.
I can be happy one moment, angry at another, and sad yet another. It's a wonder I haven't gone insane with this tumultuous emotions coursing through me. -_- Totally unpredictable that's me. =p You'll never know when I'll be super mad at you.
7. I hate others raising their voices at me!
It's darn annoying can? JT likes to do that. So sometimes shout back at her. Know that she probably didn't mean it that negatively as I see it, but I just don't like it can?
8. I hate others who gimme black faces!
Literally translated from Chinese ar. =p Yah, if after processing and I feel that I'm not in the wrong, it's not my fault, etc, I'll be damn angry lah. And my mood will be spoilt the whole day.
9. I hate others who are super inquisitive about very personal parts of my life.
Like my mum lah! Annoying lor, the way she nags on about us getting a flat, how much he earning, etc. I'm not ashamed at how little he earns, how less educated he is, how uncouth he may seem, etc. But I just cannot stand the look on her face and others which clearly shows that they look down on him. Which is why those kind of questions annoys the hell out of me?
10. I am super insecure.
If you are given my old blog links to read, you'll see how so. -_- I just don't see anything good about me. No, seriously. Not like trying to garner sympathy, or etc. That's what I hate most too. That's why I need alot of reassurance. ALOT.
11. I am quite a private person.
Hiding my feelings, thoughts, etc is something I've always been doing. Because I hate talking about them and people keep asking me questions, look at me like I'm oh-so-pitiful, giving me answers that I don't want to hear, or telling me stuff that though are truths, but are so like stabs to my heart.
12. I like writing!
Poems, stories, blogs. Poems, only when I'm depressed. Don't ask me why, but I can't write happy poems. I can't find the words to describe them. -_- Stories, aiyah, just some romance novels. Short stories more like. Used to scribble my stories on A4 papers, but don't know where I've thrown them to. = But yeah, I can be very long-winded when I start to write/blog, because the words just flows. Perhaps it's my way of releasing my inner thoughts which usually I'm not so verbal about.
13. I am quite a loner.
Prefers to be alone. Or with him. Or with my closer friends. Or as long as it's with a smaller group of people. Don't know, just don't really know how to mix with people? Though you see me like very kawan-kawan ar, but actually I don't really know how to interact in a group. Because sometimes feel abit left out in the topics they talk about. Maybe my fault at times for being anti-social. But I feel most comfortable being alone with a book and music. =p
14. I've always wanted to be a good mom.
Eh, don't laugh leh! *sulks* I not like most people, so career-driven, so motivated, so ambitious, etc. I simple-minded can? =p I just want to be a working mom. Heh. Too bad lah, no money. He's right lah, get flat first before thinking of that.
15. I'm simple-minded/naive.
Good or bad? Don't know. I'm contented easily; I just need a good paying job, close friends, my own family, a place to call my home. Actually, even if I'm stuck at this hell-hole, if I still have him and he doesn't cheat on me, have affairs, those kind of shit, I think I'll still be happy. =) Haha, I do think so naively at times eh?
16. I adore little animals and kids!
Kids are little animals mah! Lol. =p But love the furry little things, oh so cute lor! =D I wanna buy a small rodent leh. But I sure lazy to change the bedding and clean the cage lor. Think it will die of neglect lah. -_- So better not be murderer. Not as if I'm not anyway. *sighs* Right Bui?
17. I'm so a sucker for romance!
Oh sweep me off my feet with roses, champagne and serenade me under the moon and stars~ Haha. Blame it on all the romance novels that I was hooked on since teenage years lah. Lol. Hmmm, but why the hell did I choose him who knows no romance?! -_- As my first ex who knew me truly, I'll feel romanced even if it's small surprises or gifts every now and then. Even if it's just bookmarks, cute pens, etc, that's enough for me. =p
18. I love soft toys!
I have enough soft toys at home to open a mini shop ok! =x But of course, most of them are from quite some time back, but yeah, I love soft toys lah! Especially those like my office pillow's skin! =p I'm very bad, sometimes I buy soft toys for other kids, end up I buy extra for myself, or keep those toys and buy other stuff for them. =x
19. I'm fiercely protective over my loved ones.
Friends, family members. Yup, and I will resort to violence if provoked, no doubt about that. Scary? =p Nah, just that when I'm really agitated, I won't hesitate to raise my fist. When I'm angry enough, fear will no longer be in my dictionary. I still remember when my bro was bullied during Sunday School and cried to me after service, I went after the bully and knocked him over. Few years back I think, there was this madman harassing my mum, scolding her, shouting expletives, taunting comments at her while she was playing tennis. One day I accompanied her and he was doing that again. Confronted him and when he threw his packet of coffee at me, all hell broke loose and yes I did fight him. Fists, and chairs flew lah. Lol. Anyway, I won't hesitate to stand up for my loved ones if they kena bullied.
20. I've had asthma before.
Don't know why my asthma will go away leh. Got like that one meh? -_- I miss having the inhaler leh. Sweet taste. Lol. Hmmm, maybe I didn't have asthma, just that was addicted to the inhaler only? Maybe yah? Hahaha.
21. I used to go to church!
Actually this is interesting. How do you define Christians? I don't go to church anymore. Partly because nobody I know goes, or if they go, it's like so far lah. Also because I'm lazy. =p I rather sleep late on Sunday mornings. But I do believe there's a God, I know He exists, I know He always has a plan for each of us. Sometimes I do pray to Him, talk to Him. Of course not like, pray for Him to let me strike Toto lah, though that would be nice =x but I think His answer will either be No or Wait. -_- So am I considered Christian? =p Used to love going to church, singing the hymns, especially during Christmas, my favourite part would be the carols! ^_^ Missed going caroling. *sighs* Those were the days.
22. I am an ultimate bookworm.
I love reading! Since young always been caught reading books at any time of the day. Don't know why I love reading, since my parents don't like reading. In fact, they discourage me from reading lah! Except if I'm reading assessment books, textbooks of course. Otherwise, they are annoyed if they find me reading books, and had even gone to the extent of banning me from reading romance fiction, Archie comics. Former because later I'll be like boy-crazy and won't concentrate on studies, latter because the words too small, spoil my eyesight. -_- Reading brings me to another world, where I'm non-existent, where I can be anywhere but in reality.
23. I think too much for my own good.
Worst habit ever. I hate doing this! I'll end up thinking of all the possible scenarios, things that may happen, and I get upset over the unhappy stuff, happy at the happy stuff, and end up feeling upset and happy and God-knows-what-other-emotions. End result? A very confused me. -_- That's why one minute I can say "Never mind, it's ok" and smile, and the next, I start being angry and say "Actually it's not ok!" and I'll start sulking. Poor him, I must say. =p
24. I AM shy!
Oei! STOP LAUGHING! I am shy ok! =p That's why I always seem quite unfriendly at the beginning. Because I don't know what to say, so I just keep quiet. I was the kind who is scared even to request ketchup from waiters at restaurants. Yes, and this was only a few years back, before I started working ok! And precisely why I hate doing Orientations; they freak me out.
25. I've always wanted to migrate.
I really want to migrate or work overseas, even if it's for a short period of time! Maybe migrate to Aussie! I love the life there, the people, the beach, the food… I'm also interested in going Japan to teach English. One of my dreams. =p But don't think so lah. Don't think I'm capable of surviving alone in other countries. -_-
26. My aspiration was to be a kindergarten teacher, or playgroup teacher.
Hmmm, simply because I love kids? =p But they usually require you to have Early Childhood Education Diploma, which I don't have and now can't afford to study. Besides, it also won't earn much. So scrap that idea le. *sighs* Maybe as a part-time job? That would be cool... =)
27. I sometimes do get into depressive state.
I hate it when I go into depressive state. I get angry at everyone, or sad about life, and just have no mood for anything. I'll just be no different from a zombie! And no books or music can cheer me up, because when I'm in a depressive state, I listen to depressing songs. -_- So not healthy. And yes, I do have suicidal thoughts. It's a wonder I'm still here. Really.
28. I have a Love-Hate relationship with mum.
To others, she's the perfect mum, who bakes, cooks, does housework for the family, etc. Takes cares of her daughter's friends if and when they come over. Blah blah blah. But who sees the cane marks so brutally given and with lousy reasons like 'because your daddy caned your brother'? Who hears how she scolded me, sometimes using expletives and hurting words like 'he made you a prostitute' or 'you might as well go and get f***ed at geylang'? Who sees how she punished me by banishing me to the balconey even when it's cold and wet there or to the corridor and make me kneel there? I could so write an essay on how she treated me before. And how much I hated her then. Of course now things are considerably better lah. Because I learnt to strike back and she knows she can't hurt me no more. But probably because mellowing down as age creeps up to her. So yeah, she sometimes does behave like a bitch lah, but well, most of the time, her heart IS in the right place, just that I don't agree with her behavior that's all.
29. I can cook!
Though ok, maybe not like, whip up a 3 course meal, pretty desserts like in cafes, restaurants, etc. But ok, at least I can cook like, proper meals, with rice, meat, vegetables? =p Though I wish I knew how to bake lah.
30. I can read people's minds.
I know Bui must be thinking how come I haven't mentioned sex, or much about him, etc. =p Lol... Though hor, actually this point is because I've run out of things about myself lah. Maybe you can tell me about me? Or how you see me? Idea eh? Ask others to write 10 things about yourself. Hmmm...
~ END ~
Nobody I want to tag leh. How? =p
First Entry...
Heyhey! Welcome to Me & My Drab Life! Lame... -_-
Bored lah, cos Mr Ma is busy packing his stuff for his trip to Jakarta. So create new blog for you guys! Well, actually not exactly for you guys lah. I like keeping many different blogs, for different phases in my life, for my best friends, for my own private reading (not RA lah, just, don't want people to know about how sad I am as a person. -_-), etc.
Well, my blog entries should be quite long I think, from past experiences. Haha. Because it's usually an outlet for me, since I don't really talk to others about personal stuff unless they started the ball rolling and I only talk about stuff I'm more comfortable about. And rubbish of course, anything to entertain and get others' attention eh?
Wish I can write short and sweet like Bui ah! =p Nice, I like. Mine machiam essay, think end up nobody wanna read also. And it gets repititive at times. =p
Anyway, stay tuned for the next entry. Got tagged by Bui lah, and you can see how MY blogging differs from hers and Tam's. =p People's 30 things about themselves are short and sweet and to the point. Mine, as if writing thesis. Hahaha! You shall see why...
Bored lah, cos Mr Ma is busy packing his stuff for his trip to Jakarta. So create new blog for you guys! Well, actually not exactly for you guys lah. I like keeping many different blogs, for different phases in my life, for my best friends, for my own private reading (not RA lah, just, don't want people to know about how sad I am as a person. -_-), etc.
Well, my blog entries should be quite long I think, from past experiences. Haha. Because it's usually an outlet for me, since I don't really talk to others about personal stuff unless they started the ball rolling and I only talk about stuff I'm more comfortable about. And rubbish of course, anything to entertain and get others' attention eh?
Wish I can write short and sweet like Bui ah! =p Nice, I like. Mine machiam essay, think end up nobody wanna read also. And it gets repititive at times. =p
Anyway, stay tuned for the next entry. Got tagged by Bui lah, and you can see how MY blogging differs from hers and Tam's. =p People's 30 things about themselves are short and sweet and to the point. Mine, as if writing thesis. Hahaha! You shall see why...
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